Friday, August 9, 2013

Is chemistry really all that?

Does chemistry have to be present immediately when getting to know someone of the opposite sex?  If not, how long does one wait to see if chemistry develops?

I have heard many stories of men and women who say that one of the most important qualities that they are looking for in a potential love interest is chemistry.  When they meet someone that they don't automatically "click" with, they cross that person off.

My proposal is that, yes, chemistry is important...but not to give up if it isn't present from the start.  Throughout my teen/young adult years, I remember a couple guys in particular who I wasn't automatically attracted to, but after getting to know more of the heart of who they were, that attraction and chemistry began to develop.  Although no relationship came out of those instances, it proved to me that chemistry is something that can grow.  Fireworks don't have to be there right away.

I would encourage, even challenge you, to give it some time if you meet someone who has great qualities and compatibility, but you're not attracted to or feeling chemistry with that person immediately. Perhaps even past the first couple dates.  Chemistry is a wonderful thing, but it will not make a relationship last.  Chemistry should be present in a relationship, obviously, but it can be fickle and not something to base your decisions on initially.  What makes a relationship stand strong is if there are shared core values, goals, interests, and beliefs, mutual love and respect, trust, good communication, as well as being able to simply enjoy each others' company and make each other laugh.  If you have these qualities already with someone who is interested in you, or if you at least can see the potential there, allow yourself to get to know the heart of that person and see if chemistry begins to develop naturally.  You just might be surprised by who will capture your heart!

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